My puppy is an alien

>Be me
>Buy puppy off of ebay
>Have him shipped over
>Realize he is the wrong kind of puppy you wanted
>Shake your fist to the sun god in the sky
>Realize there is no sun god
>Take care of the puppy anyway
>Puppy tries to maul you
>Puppy's eyes turn white and hyper-realistic
>Put the conehead in his cage
>Realize the ridiculous shit he has on his head
>Laugh for 6 hours
>Realize the puppy is hungry
>Let him out to eat
>Get mauled and teethed to death with his alien claws and teeth
>Realize your puppy was an alien the whole time
>Sell the puppy on ebay
>Some sucker buys it
>Laugh at his future demise
>Realize you're dead and can't sell stuff when you're dead
>What the fuck